


Not again

by Middle



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:46:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9436781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Middle/pseuds/Middle
Summary: After Maggie went at Alex's with pizza and beers





	1. Morning after

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first fic and english isn't my first language  
> Be gentle  
> Please comment I'd love feedback  
> Thanks for reading it :)

Chapter 1

 

It's that time in the morning when you start to realise your own thoughts and your own body, when you try to remember the dream you just dreamed and all without open your eyes.

 

Maggie doesn't remember what she dreamed but starts to remember all that happened the night before.

 

After a week since she went at Alex's with one pizza and beers just to kiss her Alex is at her apartment. It's been an amazing night. 

 

Maggie can't believe all the things that happened this last week. Now she doesn't want to think about all the fear she had, she was so stupid trying to run away from this, from Alex. 

This last week has been the happiest week of her life. She never thought she could feel this needing, wanting to talk and be with someone all the time.

 These last days they went out with Alex's friends or poolnight after work, but last night was different. While they were playing pool Alex was always staring at Maggie like if she was going to pull off all of Maggie's clothes right there.

Maggie after losing again and again should be tired of trying it but all the gazes and seductive Alex's movements made Maggie be so turned on and she wanted to keep playing and at the same time put her against the Alien's bar wall.

She didn't want to push Alex but when Alex whispered near Maggie's ear "I want to see your place" with a tone low and husky Maggie couldn't resist anymore and with a quick ride in her bike Alex was against Maggie's door moaning and with her blood burning thru all her body.

 

Alex didn't know how, but on a spur of a moment she was with her back on Maggie's bed and Maggie on her knees between Alex's legs looking at each other without believing what was happening. Alex spread her hands to pull Maggie's face and pushed her with a harsh wet kiss as Maggie pulled her thigh between Alex's legs.

 

But now, Maggie can feel the morning light thru her eyelids, smiling because of the still feeling of Alex's skin in her hands peeling off her clothes of her perfect body and kissing her pulse point making a path of kisses down thru all her body, Alex's reactions when she bites her sweet skin and her moans and desperate moves with her hips looking for any relief contact where she needed the most.

 

Remembering all the things that happened last night Maggie is turning on again and misses the contact so she turns her body looking for Alex's warm and naked body but there's nothing. 

Maggie opens her eyes suddenly, her bed is empty, looking around there's no signal of Alex presence and any of her clothes either.

"Alex?" There's no answer

 

"What the fuck" Looking around again Maggie can't believe this is happening, she wakes up and takes her phone, no texts, no missed calls.

 

She can't believe after an amazing sex night she is waking up alone, again.

She knew if it had been a DEO alert, she would have told her.

 

"Does alex regret this?" Is the burning thought in Maggie's head. With all her angry she takes the phone to call alex, there's no answer.

 

"Really? Really is this happening to me AGAIN?"

She has to sit down because  suddenly all the strengths are off of her body.

On the edge of her bed she lays down and she can still smell Alex on her sheets, with one tear scrolling down her face she feels the worst of the pains in her chest, in her heart... "Why alex is doing this to me?" 

 


	2. See you

Chapter 2

  
It's been days since Maggie woke up alone in her apartment, after been waiting and alex didn't showed up, no texts no calls even in one case that the DEO and the NCPD had to collaborate she didn't saw Alex in the crime scene.  
After a lot of calls and msgs without answer she went to Alex's apartment and Kara's too, both empty.  
Everyday after work she went to the bar and drunk beer after beer, shot after shot. All these days she was waking up with headache but she rather this pain to feel less of the pain in her chest.  
One night she arrived to her apartment from the bar and she opened the fridge and took another beer, once she was on the couch the burning tears started to fall again like every moment she's alone since Alex left.  
At work everybody can feel something's wrong with her but they know she's not going to talk with anyone of them. She cries, but only when she's alone and all her thoughts hits her.  
She can't believe after rejected Alex because she knew this was gonna happen she didn't care and went for it, she told alex she likes her, that she wanna kiss her and all these week together she was very clear and let Alex go through her inside walls every moment they spent together.  
She can believe after all this time without open herself to anyone, she has her heart broken again, this can't be compared with all the hook ups and relationships she had until Alex.

Days have past, she's coming home from the bar, she leaves her bike in front of the apartment and taking off the helmet when she looks up she can see a tall and tiny body in a leather jacket and skinny jeans.

There she is, Alex with a shy smile and her cheeks blush.  
Maggie can feel a stuck in her heart, walking fast in Alex's direction she past next to her and opens the door walking in leaving Alex with the words in her mouth. Alex goes into the building after Maggie before the door could close. Maggie is trying to open her door the fast way she can. She doesn't want to see her face, she can't because she doesn't know what is more painful to feel. She missed her, she wants to talk with her, kiss her. But at the same time the pain in her heart, the pain in all this past days... doesn't let her.  
When she's walking in a hand stop the door

"Maggie wait" her voice make Maggie's heart hurts even more.

"Please go" she said with broken voice

"No Maggie I need to talk to you"

Maggie turn around to face Alex but without looking into her eyes

"I said GO" she crossed her arms over her chest.  
Alex taking Maggie's hand and pulling their bodies closer she whispers

"Please Maggie..." taking a deep breath to encourage herself "I.. I missed you"

Maggie can't believe it, she can't show up like this and tell her this, she should did this the first day she went away from her or even she shouldn't went away, Alex should stayed there, with her, in the bed, after that night, after that unforgettable and at the same time painful night, after al the kisses, all the little smiles and the sharing heat of their sweaty bodies..and after..all. She looks up into Alex's eyes.

"Mag-"

Before Alex could say her name again Maggie tugs her by her cheeks and kiss her pushing back until Alex's back slams roughly against the wall, sliding her hands down from the cheeks to Alex's ass touching all her body's top, pulling her even more closer and following the movement Alex's legs go up until they're around Maggie's tiny waist and her hands on Maggie's strong arms.  
They're kissing roughly with all tongues and teeth. Maggie is putting all her feelings in this kiss, grinding hard between Alex's legs putting all her strengths here, she doesn't notice the single tear falling on her cheek, she's trying the kiss tells Alex all that she felt this days.

She feels how Alex's is moaning and moving her hips for more contact. Alex can't believe how easily Maggie turned her on, how she can put her over the edge in a few seconds.  
They have too stop, she's feeling how fast it's building inside her and how fast and easily she's going to cum. But Maggie doesn't let her, Maggie keeps grinding and kissing and stroking her hand thru all her rib cage and the other squeezing hard her ass.  
Alex can't resist anymore and let her be, going into the feeling with all of her.  
She can hardly breathe and with Maggie's final grinds and going down with her mouth to lick and bite her hard nipple, there's the fabric inbetween but that's enough for Alex to come, her body is clenching and her spine arched. She comes hard, putting her hand on her mouth to swallow her scream trying the neighbours can't listen her screams in the hallway.  
They stay like that without moving, trying to get back her breathes a few minutes. Alex looks down to find Maggie's eyes but she's with her eyes closed and a side of her forehead on Alex's shoulder. When Alex strokes Maggie's cheeks with her knuckles she starts to put down Alex's legs slowly.  
When Alex is going to talk Maggie put her hand on her mouth, quietly and with red eyes looking at her Maggie says

"I can't, right now I can't do this"

Turning around before Alex can see her tears falling she goes into the apartment and closes the door behind her.  
Alex, without understanding anything, stays in the hallway processing all the things that just happened.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's chapter 2 hope you liked it  
> Maybe in the next chapter will see where alex has been.  
> Thanks for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Days has past and Alex has to do something but she can't think clearly, Kara wanna help to fix the relationship between her sister and Maggie

**Chapter 3**

 

 

Candles are the only dim light in the room. Two bodies are in the bed, both under the sheets.

 

Alex with her head between pillows and breathing fast. Her nails scratching on the headboard. She slides down one hand touching and squeezing her own breast and hard nipple. With a shiver through her spine she puts her hand on Maggie's head tugging her hair. She can feel two hands on her hips doesn't let her move them, a tongue between her legs is driving her crazy, feeling waves rising up all her body.

 

Maggie teasing Alex biting her inner thighs, playing with her tongue and kissing all her sensitive skin but where Alex need the most. 

 

"Tell me what you want"

 

Alex barely can talk "I.. mmm"

 

Maggie tightening her hands on Alex's hips says again

 

"What you want, Danvers"

 

Alex looking down catches Maggie's eyes looking straight to hers

 

"I wan-"

 

An annoying beep hits her head, putting one hand over her eyes and the other turning off the alarm she growls. 

It was all a dream.

Alex wakes up and goes straight to the shower.

With the hot water scrolling down her skin she rest her forehead on the wall and starts to think a plan to fix everything between her and Maggie.

 

With a cup of coffee and no reports from the DEO she decides that maybe is time to talk with Maggie. Between the DEO cases and avoiding the alien bar they didn't see each other since long days ago.

She wanna respect the space Maggie needs even if it hurts and she’s losing her mind thinking about what she's gonna say to Maggie to explain everything. She regrets that she didn't talk to her in all the week after she left but after all what happened she needed time.

 

Leaving her apartment she thinks she'll be better talking with her sister, maybe she can help her to clear her mind and stop overthinking.

 

 

\------------------------------------------

 

 

 

"So..  Did you talk with Maggie already?" Kara asks, both are on the couch Kara looking at her sister but Alex is looking down to her own hands.

 

"Does she know you're here, in the city?"

 

Alex lightly nods "I went to her apartment to talk, but..." her voice is shaky and no more words come out.

 

"Alex, whatever it is you can tell me" Kara says with sweet and worried voice.

 

"No.." she crosses her arm over her chest "She didn't wanna talk, and I didn't.. I don't know what can I say to her" Alex feels how tears are at the edge of her eyes.

 

"Alex..." Kara hugs her "I'm here for everything you need" Kara hugs her tighter.

 

After a while hugging in silence on the couch Alex brakes slowly the hug, looking everywhere but her sister Alex said close to a whisper

 

"We didn't talk but we... kissed?"

 

Not understanding if that was a question Kara asks "what does that mean?"

 

Alex gets up of the couch and walks nervously to one side to the other of the living room 

"We.. we maybe did more than.. kissing"

 

"You two had sex!?"

 

"I don't know.. I.. I need to go" 

 

Before Alex could turn around Kara gets up and takes her by her wrist stopping her

"No, Alex, tell me. First you say she didn't want to talk and then this, let me understand, let me help you please" The ‘please’ sounds like shy whisper.

 

With a sigh she sits again and Kara next to her.

 

What she can tell her? She's overthinking everything and she can't see anything clear and she doesn't know what really happened, well she knows it but her head doesn't want to accept all the truth.

"I know I did it wrong, but I can't explain her why I did what I did without exposing confidencial information"

 

"Oh.." Kara starts to understand

"Yeah.."

Both are looking each other with understanding eyes.

 

Alex knows this are the reasons she had to go these morning from Maggie, but there're others that explains why she didn't talk to her when she just came back.

 

"I think you should talk with her, she's a cop, she'll understand all the 'confidential info'"  Kara says with a reassuring smile.

 "Maybe.. I should go now" Alex kiss kara check and leaves the apartment giving a last little smile with quietly 'thanks' to her.

 

\---------------------- 

 

Alex is on her bike staring at the helmet that's in her both hands "let's do this" she puts on the black helmet and turn on the bike.

 

With two coffees she goes to the police station. When she was about to go in she can see Maggie talking with someone with a casual pose with her back on one side of the car. She has a tired gaze and a smile on her face but Alex can see the fake in that smile.

Maggie can feel a pair of eyes staring at her, she turns her head and both freeze when their eyes met.

 

 _shit, she's so beautiflul_  both think at the same time.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

  
Leaning on the couch can feel almost every muscle of her body is in pain. The bad guy kicked her ass but just because for one second her head wasn't on the mission, she was thinking on the early conversation with Alex.   
She doesn't know what she wants right now, it's true that Alex fucked up the things between them the morning she left but now both made wrong decisions and both fucked up their relationship.

She doesn't only miss Alex's warm body or sweet and sometimes little shy smiling kisses, she misses hang out with her too, talk about deep thoughts or just about the day with her friend, paying beers because she loses their bets playing pool or working together in a case.

Maggie's apartment has been quiet this past weeks, she has being trying to be out of there and when she had to come back she falled on the couch because her bed only brings her memories and sensations that she's not ready to remember.

When she broke up with her ex girlfriend she thought she was the one but now she realises she wasn't because her feelings for Alex are more deep and stronger, she doesn't miss her ex but she feel a void without Alex in her life.

Opening another beer she thought in their early conversation.

 

When their eyes met they stared at each other, she doesn't know during how many time but it felt like an eternity, her partner's voice was background, he was still talking to her but the only thing she could did was thinking what was Alex doing there.   
A little smile appeared on Alex's face but not even a half second later it disappeared. She could feel Alex was nervous and insecure, she was the first who looked away, she turned to her partner and said "gimme a sec" leaving him and going straight to where Alex was.

"Hey"

"Hi" Alex said looking down

"Umm.. wha.. what are you doing here? Are you okay?" Even if she didn't want to show it she couldn't hide she was still worried for her

"No. Yes. Well, no but yes"  
Maggie frowned don't understanding anything.

"We're not okay"

"I know" Maggie's voice was more serious that she meant to be.

"So I thought we should talk.." she heard how Alex's voice was a little shaking but she knew that Alex maybe was doing all her efforts to hide it "I bought you a coffee" she continued

She took a moment to see the situation, Alex was waiting her answer with a bright in her eyes that reflected her hopes to fix this.  
She was with her arms crossed-she didn't know when she crossed them- and with serious face.

She sighed.

"One more coffee never hurts" she relaxed her expression and smile a little.  
Taking the coffee she said "do you want to take a walk?" Looking around where other police officers were chatting.

"Yeah, yes of course" Alex's voice tone was more high than usually is.

 

 

They were walking down the street in silence.

"So.." Maggie said trying to help Alex to start.  
Alex suddenly stopped walking and Maggie turned around looking at her with questioning face.

"I miss you.." Alex said near a whisper looking at her eyes and then looking to her own hands.

"Alex..."

"I know, I know it's not fair but.. I miss you" She said again.

She misses Alex too, god she misses her a lot, and one part of her wanted to tell her but another part, the part that knows how this is gonna end: with her heart broken because of a baby gay doesn't let her.

"Why did you leave?" Maggie asked before she could stop herself.

"I want to tell you but-"

"Then tell me" she interrupted Alex

"I.. I.." Alex was unable to say anything.

Maggie put the take away coffee against Alex's chest not enough strong to split the coffee but strong enough to made Alex take a step back.  
She was angry, ' _why I keep doing this to me_ ' she thought ' _fuck off, fuck Alex, fuck everything_ ' she passed by Alex's side and start going back to the police station.

Alex couldn't breathe, all was happening so fast. She leave the coffees on the ground and run towards Maggie "No, wait..fuck"

Taking her by her arm and turning her around said "Mags wait"

'Mags? She just called me Mags?' With every second that passed she was more and more angry

"Look Alex you came here and told me you wanna talk but you don't talk, so I'm done. I'm done with this."  
"And don't follow me" Pulling off her own arm out of Alex's hand she leaves.

"No, Maggie, don't go.." Alex said more to herself than to Maggie who was already far enough away to listen her.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile since last time they see each other

 

 

 

 

 

Another day starts.

Maggie is already used to be without Alex, not talking with her. 

 

Two days after Alex went to the police station she was so drunk in some pub. She almost can't remember anything of that night but she woke up on someone's bed, not even a minute later she was closing the door and leaving without a word.

She was going to regret this.

 

Alex no longer goes to the alien's bar and if she did they weren't there at the same time, but sometimes she has seen her sister Kara with some friends.

 

 

 

Now, almost two months later, she's better, not drinking a lot, she can sleep in her bed again but some nights her head betrays her and she dreams about Alex.

 

It's been a long week at work, she's out drinking a beer, she has earned one or two beers and she has the day off tomorrow. 

She feels someone seats next to her.

"Hi, Maggie" with all the noise in the bar she almost couldn't hear it, it's a sweet voice but with worried tone.

"What can I do for you, little Danvers?"

"I.. um.. how are you?"

 

 

Maggie smiles a tilt her head in disbelieve

 "I see you are busy" Kara said sad "I leave you alone.."

 

Just after Kara stands up and turn aroud to leave Maggie looking at her almost empty glass asks her 

"How is she doin'?"

 

Kara smiles a little, she feels a relief she can breathe again.

 "She's.., well I'm here because I need your help"

 

Maggie turns her head to look at her with worried eyes.

 "Wha-, Is she-.." she takes a deep breath trying to calm down "what do you need from me, Kara?" 

 

Kara takes a deep breath too and sits next to her again.

"Few weeks ago something happened in a DEO op and it hit Alex so bad. After the op she went home but she disappeared, few days later I just found her in her apartment like if nothing happened but she was.. she was so sad and drunk. Since that she doesn't wanna talk with me, she's not going to the DEO anymore, it's been weeks since.." tears are falling and Kara can't stop them "look I'm telling this to you because I know.. I know you're important to her and because I think you're the only one that can help me, help her.."

 

 

Kara is waiting for Maggie to say something.

 

"I'm hearing Kara. But you have to start from the beginning, what happened in that mission?"

 "Thanks.." Kara whispers.. After all this days suffering maybe there's a solution "Okay, all started with a warning of an unusual activity in-..."

 

 

 

Kara told her everything

 "So, what do you want me to do?" 

 "Like I told you earlier she barely says to me three words, I'm going everyday to her apartment and I always find her in the same way"

 "And you want me to talk with her, right?"

 

Maggie is her last chance. J'onn couldn't, Eliza couldn't, she either.

 "Do you? I know I'm asking for to much but.."

 "I'll do it" Maggie smiles at Kara squeezing Kara's arm and comforting eyes looking at her.

 "Thanks Maggie, really, thank you very much"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her head hurts, an annoying noise wakes her up.

 The noise again, someone is knocking her door.

 

She growls.

"Kara go away, leave me alone" she's tired of doing this everyday.

 

The knocks stopped, like always she was expecting Kara goes into her apartment through the windows. But not today. She's glad her sister really goes away for the first time.

 

Suddenly she hears a closing door noise, her door. 

 

"Kara, how you get the key again? Could you leav-" Alex eyes widen "Wha- what are you doing here?"

 

She didn't answer, she frowns and crosses her arms.

 

"Sure, Kara asked you for"

 "I see you're still so clever even when you're drunk as fuck"

 

Alex tries to stand up from the couch but her legs failed and she fells onto the floor.

 

The situation is worst than she imagined, or Kara didn't tell her all.

She helps Alex to stand up and takes her to the shower. 

 

 

 

When she's going to turn on the cold water Alex turns around and hug her tight

 "Al-"

 Alex is crying 

 

She hugs her back stroking her back. When she feels Alex's breathe is slower and more relaxed she takes her cheeks with her hands making disappear Alex's tears with her thumbs.

 "Alex, you need to shower, I need you to sober up okay?"

 Alex nods.

 "While you're in the shower I can cook something for both of us"

 

Maggie doesn't need to pull down Alex's head to kiss her forehead, Alex look smaller than usually, fragile.

 

She leaves the bathroom giving Alex privacy to shower.

 

She opens the fridge, empty, there's only a few beers.

All the kitchen is empty there's only cheap whiskey, beers and boxes of take away food without open, surely Kara bought her food.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maggie opens the door of Alex's apartment in both hands she has bags full of fresh food.

She expected Alex was on her room or in the couch again with clean clothes but the bathroom's door is still closed and she can't hear any noise.

 

After she puts everything of the bags in the fridge she starts to worry. Alex isn't doing any noise.

"Alex? Are you okay?" There's no answer.

 "Alex?" Nothing.

 "I'm going in"

 

She opens the door. Alex is on the floor, knees on her chest wrapped by her arms. 

 "Alex, sweetheart.." She sits on the floor in front of her.

 

_What's going on inside this beautiful head?_  She thinks

 

"You leaved me alone, again" Alex says between sobs and tears.

 "I'm not leaving, I'm here, I'm here with you" She takes her hand "C'mon let's take that shower"

 

She takes off Alex's clothes of her slowly and hers too. Both are on her undies. Every time Alex has to let go Maggie's hand all her little strengths disappear.

 

"It's so cold" Alex says before the water could touch her skin turning around and hugging Maggie.

 "Sorry babe"

 

 

"Alex?"

 "mmh?"

 "Are you smelling me?"

 "mmno.." She hugs her even harder pressing her nose and mouth on Maggie's neck.

 

They stay in silence like that while the cold water is falling over them.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first part of the chapter is Alex's POV and the second part Maggie's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading ;)  
> This chapter is a little longer and Lucy's POV will be in some future chapter  
> Sorry if there's typos or writing mistakes.
> 
> Comment anything you want ;)

 

Chapter 6

 

 

 

_**Alex's POV**  
_

 

 

 

We're lying on the bed, her fingers are tangled in my hair and her other arm hugging me with her hand on my back. Her breathing is slow and comforting, god, I missed her. Her heartbeat, her sweet skin, her hands playing with my hair, her dark and beautiful eyes looking at mine. Her smell, my face is on her neck and the only thing I can think is bite her hypnotic smell, her pulsepoint to feel her heart on my lips.  
She's the only one who makes me forget the pain, the pain in my body, in my heart. She's the only one who get off of my mind those painful images.  
I need her closer.  
I don't know if she's sleeping or just relaxed lying here with me.  
I need to hear her voice, the pain is coming back and there no alcohol to make it easier, but I know her voice can keep away this burning pain. I move my hand to draw the line of her jawline with my fingers while I start kissing her neck.  
I feel a moan vibrating down her throat, so I keep going kissing down her neck to her collarbone. I move down my hand to the hem of her little ripped t-shirt, putting my hand under the t-shirt I stroke quietly with my fingers her ribs one per one.  
With my tongue I draw a line up her throat to finally kiss her jawline, uff, I can't wait anymore I need to feel her lips on mine, her hot breathe fighting with mine, her eyes being so close to mine that can't focus to them right.  
Suddenly she takes a deep and fast breathe, she looks down straight to my eyes not saying anything. When my mouth is going to catch hers she moves back her head and turns around to sit on the edge of the bed  
"Alex no"  
The pain shoot me straight to my chest  
"...no, We can’t...” Maggie whispers  
Another shoot  
Standing up she says "I'll cook something to eat"  
Shoot

All of a sudden the bed is so cold, I feel shivers through all my body. I sink my face into the pillow so it can swallow my tears.  
I don't understand

I hear some noises from the kitchen and the smell makes me wanna puke. I can't, I can't have her, I can't have her the way I need, the way I want. But she doesn't want, she doesn't want me. She's here just because Kara asked her, I'm a fool. Why I thought she's here because of me, after all why she'd be here, not for me for sure.

I leave the bed, I have to try twice, my legs don't have any strength, not after this. I go to the bathroom I clean my face with cold water.

Maggie is quiet, cooking trying to make the less noise as possible.  
"You don't have to do this"  
Her shoulders tense when she hear my voice.  
"I know"  
"Then stop"  
Why she doesn't just go?  
"No"  
"I want you to stop" all the pain is a big wave taking all the strengths off of my body  
She doesn't stop  
"STOP"  
She jumps a little and turns around  
"STOP" I say again "MAGGIE YOU HAVE TO STOP" and then all is foggy, a mess I can't quite remember.  
I only hear the noise of the door opening next to me, and then I feel warm, I'm flying with something warm hugging me.

When I wake up all is dark, it's past midnight already. When I'm going to move I feel a body next to me. The room is so dark that I can’t see anything but I know who is there.  
Moving my hands I feel hers on mine, quietly I stroke her arm.  
"I'm sorry Maggie, I'm so sorry. I was so scared. I was afraid of losing you and I already did" I whisper. I know she's sleeping, but I have to put this out of my chest.  
"I was scared for falling for you so fast and I couldn't.. I can't tell you a lot of things, and it hurts, I don't like keeping secrets to the person I... I lov-"  
Something stops my words. Is it Maggie's hand? I need to say this out loud but I can't she doesn't let me...

 

 

 

————————

 

**_Maggie's POV_ **

 

 

 

  
All is dark, I'm tired, tired of running, I don't even know why or from what I'm running away, I just feel I have to keep running.  
I can't breathe, my feet hurt, my lungs burn.  
But I can see something at the end of the darkness, I see her, smiling.  
She gives me her hard so I take it and she hugs me taking away all the darkness that was there few seconds before.  
She's hugging me tight  
"Where have you been Maggie?" She says on my neck " I missed you a lot"  
I don't understand, I never went away from her. I'd never do that.  
"I'm here Alex, I've always been here"  
She kisses my neck "You leaved me alone, again"  
"No Alex I'm here, I'm here" I hug her with all my strengths  
"Why you push me away?"  
I'm not pushing her away, why she says that?  
"I just want to be with you"  
"I'm here Alex, I'm with you, I'll be with you always" I'm crying  
She kisses my neck  
"Alex feel me, I'm here.... I'm he-"

I open my eyes, Alex is looking at me. Here lips so close to mine. I could kiss her, make sure she knows I'm here, I'm always gonna be here. But I can't.  
I feel it, I feel how she's gonna kiss me. How she move her head to kiss me, but I can't. So I push away. This can't happen now. Not like this. I sit on the edge of the bed.  
We can't do this to each other.  
All in my head is going so fast. I said to her I'd never push her away and I just did it, I can't look at her right now, I feel bad. I want to be with her but what if she only wants to kiss me because she's sad and not because she wants me? No, I can't with this pain.  
I have to do something, I'm losing the strength that keeps me away from kissing her, hugging her, touching her.

"I'll cook something to eat"

I take some fresh food I bought from the fridge to cook something quick.  
I don't know what I'm doing, my head only thinks about the Alex's smell that comes from her old t-shirt I'm wearing. I feel my lungs burning again like in my dream. Tears are falling all over my hands and the vegetables I'm cutting.

I hear her crying and that makes me cry even more. Why I did this? Why I came here? Just to hurt her? I hate myself.  
Taking deep breaths I try to think clear.  
I'm here for her. I'm here to help her. I rather feel this pain and make her to stop drinking and start to going to work again.  
I'm not going anywhere. I want to help her, and anything is gonna stop me from doing that.

I'm almost done with the dinner. I don't even know what time it is.

"You don't have to do this" her voice is cold  
Cold that hurts straight in my heart  
I take a deep breath  
"I know"  
"Then stop"  
I can't.  
"No"  
"I want you to stop"  
No, I can't stop. I'm gonna stay here. I'm gonna take care of her.  
She starts screaming to me that I have to stop.  
I turn around and her face is white, she's breathing hard, like if there's not enough air. Her eyes are lost, looking at me but not looking.  
I run next to her. I turn her around, she still doesn't look at me. She sits on the floor. I take her hand with mine.  
"Alex breathe, breathe with me"  
She's not listening  
"ALEX! Look at me"  
She does.  
"Breathe with me Alex" I rest my forehead against hers, our noses touching.  
"Listen my breathe"  
I pull her hands on my chest. She closes her eyes breathing slower.  
"Good Alex, you're doing it so good"

I don't know since when, but someone is behind us.

I look at her.  
"What happened to her? What did you do?"  
"Who are you?"  
She looks at me suspiciously  
"I'm Lucy, I'm.. I'm a friend, Alex's friend"  
What.  
I know that word so well. _A friend_. Sure. I feel jealous suddenly.  
Maggie now isn't the time for this.  
"Why is she on the floor?"  
"I.. I.. Just gimme a sec"  
She says something I can't hear  
I look to Alex again.  
"Alex, you wanna stand up, can I take you to the bed? It'll be better than the cold floor, okay?  
She nods slowly.

"Hey what are you doing?" Ugh this girl is annoying.  
"I'm taking her to the bed"  
"No, no, wait. I don't know who are you and what are you doing here"  
I'm not going to explain this now. I don't care. I only care about Alex and right now she needs me.

"Hey babe can you put your arms around my neck?" I whisper to Alex.  
She smirks.  
And my heart smiles seeing her smirking.  
She does.  
And I take her to bed in braid mode.

I stroke her back until she fell asleep.

Going back to the living room I ask her "sorry your name is.."  
"I'm Lucy, who are you? where is Kara? She told me she'd be here"  
"I'm Maggie, and no Kara isn't here"  
"Why are you here?"  
I don't know why I'm doing this. So many annoying questions I don't want to answer, I just wanna be next to Alex.  
"I'm-" it starts smelling like if something is burning. _Shit, the dinner._

After putting the pan under the water and opening the windows.  
Lucy is still there at the same place I found her.  
Is she from the DEO? She look like. She has a straight position. Her neck, back and legs are the same line.

She's calling someone, She's calling Kara.

What the-

She looks at me, Her gace cloud kill me. Kara told her something she didn't like at all.

She turns around and left.

 

After cleaning the mess I did in the kitchen I go to check on Alex, to see if she needs something.

She in the middle of the bed, with all her hair over her face, putting it behind her ear to see her face she takes my hand a tugs me until I’m lying next to her, she doesn’t hugs me she just want me there next to her, holding my hand.

I’m almost asleep when I hear she’s whispering something.

She thinks I’m sleeping, I shouldn't be listening this.  
How can I stop her?  
Wait. She.. She said she fell for me? oh shit, She's gonna say it.  
I don’t how my mind worked in that moment but in a heartbeat I put my lips against hers. When she tries to keep talking I slip my tongue into her mouth, I missed her lips. I missed her taste. I can't stop myself I need more. I cup with my hands her face and I kiss her roughly..  
A groan escapes through her mouth.


	7. Let me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie's POV

  
"I'm sorry" I push away.  
I started the kiss and it escalated so fast. I had to stop before.. before I couldn't stop myself.  
I know this is a mistake but I didn't want her regretting what she was going to say. No, this isn't the right time for this, she's vulnerable and sad and she needs time to deal with her pain.  
"Maggie... please"  
She tries to pull me closer with her hand behind my neck. Her voice is shaking and desperate, I can feel her fast breathing so close to my lips.  
"Alex, I wanna help you, let me help you. I wanna be here with you, for you, supporting you.. as a friend"  
"No, don't you dare to tell me that again Maggie" she pulls me closer her lips touching lightly the corner of mine "we're not friends, you know that, we can't be just friends" she's right but right now I don't know if she kisses me because she really wants me or because she feels alone.  
"Don't you dare to tell me your friends make your heart beats faster than ever like you do to mine" _Fuck_ "Don't you dare to tell me your friends kiss you like you kiss me, touch you like you touch me" Alex.. why you do this so hard to me... "Tell me, do they kiss you like..." and she kisses me and I can't do anything against it, I really don't want to. "And do they touch you like I do?" And she kisses me again with her hand traveling down my neck to my chest and then my breast.  
Without my permission I'm moaning and my hips moves involuntary looking for some friction.  
I feel Alex's smile in the kiss "Do they make you feel as good as I make you feel? as good as you make me feel? Huh?"  
"Fuck Alex.." I have no words for her, she's right and I can't deny it.  
"Exactly" she said pushing me until I'm on my back and she's straddling me, all in one sweet move, fuck.  
I'm in a cloud, she takes off her t-shirt and now she's only with panties. She takes my hands and place them on her hips.  
Right in the moment she starts to kiss my neck I lose everything. I'm feeling her wetness on my skin where she's straddling me. I tug her hips hard, I need something to keep me here in this world. I move my arms making her to move her hips grinding me. If she was wet before now..now..

I don't wear my t-shirt anymore, she's making a path from my neck of wet kisses to take my nipple between her lips.  
"Mmm.. I love you nipples" she bites it and with her other hand plays with my other breast.  
After torturing me, leaving me without breathe, she goes down with more kisses.  
"I love your sweaty skin" she tells me with her tongue playing around my navel. She groans and bites me again down my navel "Mmm I love feeling me on your skin" fuck she's licking her own wetness that she leaved over me.  
She looks up to find my eyes looking at her, she smiles, her smile makes me things.. I put my hands on her arms and I pull her, I need to kiss her.

I could stay like this forever, her naked body against mine kissing her, her long and strong legs straddling me with my hands on her ass with my thumbs playing with the waistband of her panties.  
I try to turn us around but she doesn't let me.  
She bites my bottom lip.  
"Mhh, mhh. Stay quiet"  
Her forehead is against mine I wanna kiss her but she doesn't let me.  
She has all the control here and she's showing me that so clear.  
She's looking straight into my eyes while she moves down her hand between us.  
"I wanna see you come, I need to." She said as she starts touching me underneath the sweatpants I wear.  
She smirks when she feels how wet I am for her, she doesn't say anything but she knows I'm like this for her. Her fingers tease me a little not touching me where I need but then she goes inside me and she knows how to take me out of my own body.  
"Mmmmnfuck..." I dig my nails on her skin.  
I don't need no time to let her hear me moan and me screaming her name while I cum all over her hand.  
I can't say anything I have to brake our kisses because a need air in my lungs.  
"Maggie..." her voice makes me come back to this world.  
She strokes my hair "Maggie, I love you, and I'm so sorry I hurt you"  
She hurt me and I hurt her, we need to talk about a lot of things because right now I don't know where we are. "Someday I'll tell you everything, but now.. I can't"  
"It's okay Alex, when you're ready I know you'll tell me"  
"Yeah?"  
Maybe before my conversation with Kara I wouldn't say that but now I know a little more and I can wait for her, she worth it.  
I nod and kiss her, I can't stop kissing her. We turn to our sides, facing looking to each other. She hugs me, with her face in the crook of my neck and my fingers drawing on her back we fall asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it  
> Comment and kudos if you liked it, let me know if you want more chapters :)


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